Where Does the Time Go?

One year ago today, my sweet Harper was born! Seriously, where does the time go? It does not feel like it's been a whole year since I brought Harper David into the world. That was such a fun day, despite having the Swine flu and having my entrithethical wear out thirty minutes before I'd have to push.

He was healthy, strong, and beautiful. I was instantly in love, but at the same time felt guilty. I felt like I was betraying Landon. I felt like I was cheating on my 18 month old by loving this other baby. Poor Landon was home with the swine flu, without me to take care of him, and I was overwhelmed with guilt.

When he and Anthony came to get us from the hospital, I had Anthony switch me places. I wanted him in the room with Harper, so I could greet Landon alone, and then introduce him to his brother. I walked into the hall where Landon was in his stroller. Right away, I could tell he was not happy. He turned his head to the side to avoid even looking at me. I hugged him and kissed him, and still he refused to respond. I tried to contain myself, as nurses were watching on, but I could not hold back tears. I had been gone for three days when Landon needed me. And, now he would know we had another baby! I felt ridiculous for crying, and I don't know if it was my postpartum hormones, but I felt like the nurses thought I was a horrible mother, too.

Harper screamed most of the way home, and Landon just stared at him, pointed and said, "baby?" a couple of times. By the time we got back, Harper was asleep. Landon lifted the blanket that covered the carseat, and peered in at his brother. He was very curious, and had forgotten about being mad at me (I had hoped).

We took him out, and let Landon hold him. Harper was screaming at that point, and Landon was just so excited. It was really cute. We explained that this was his baby, and from that moment on that is how Landon has treated Harper (most of the time).

I was terribly worried that Landon would be jealous of Harper, but I realized that's not what I would have to worry about.

Harper is jealous of Landon. If I'm playing ball with Landon, hugging him, or holding him on my lap, Harper gets jealous. He crawls, cruises, or toddles over and tries to push his way on my lap while pushing Landon off. He's very territorial of me, and Landon, not so much.

Harper has been such a blessing and sweet addition to our little family. We all love him so much! This past year has been such a crazy, fun ride with two boys, and I really would not have it any other way.

Happy First Birthday Harper!!!