Extreme Sleep Deprivation & the Reason for the Season

I sit here with blood shot eyes and a dazed expression. My 9 week old stays up until 3-3:30 am almost every single night and then I have to get up with Landon around 8 am. As you can imagine this has made life quite difficult. Not to mention, we are in the throws of basketball season which means I'm doing it all by myself all day everyday.

I'm so sleep deprived rather than clean my house when both kids are napping, I'm laying down to rest. When my house is clean and organized no matter what's going on I feel like I'm in control. When it's not, I feel overwhelmed.

Recently, I've been to several holiday parties or events. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone by dazing off during conversation or if my responses have made no sense at all. I met some new people at these holiday events and I'm secretly hoping never to see them again--because they probably think I'm a weirdo.

Our friend played Mary this year in her church's Nativity Presentation. It was in this beautiful, ginormous, Catholic, cathedral with stained glass windows and high ceilings. Anthony was coaching out of town that night, but I really wanted to go. So, the babies and I went without him. What the heck was I thinking?!

Landon ran around the cathedral in and out of pews, shrieking, and throwing balls at people. I just prayed Harper would stay asleep in his car seat as I chased Landon around like a mad woman. Harper woke up crying during some one's solo. Just as I picked him up to feed him, Landon ran up on stage. So, I'm carrying a screaming baby and running down the aisle in front of like 400 people. I grabbed him from the stage as he screamed and tried mightily to wiggle away from me. Humiliated beyond belief, I could hear snickers and giggles as I carried my unhappy boys outside in the foggy cold to wait for the play to end.

Amidst all the chaos, I left the play thinking about the true reason for the season. My boys were quiet for about 42 seconds during the presentation, and I watched as Mary danced across the stage. I thought about the fears she may have had as she traveled a long distance with this most precious child in her womb. She must have felt exhausted. She must have felt great responsibility. I thought about how absolutely wonderful she must have been to be chosen as the Mother of our Lord, Jesus Christ, Savior of the World. I thought about our Father in Heaven, and the greatest gift of all. He sent His Son to die for us that we might live. He sent his Son as our ultimate example. During this Christmas Season, I am committing myself to live more like Him so that when I meet my Maker I can be proud of my works on Earth, and I hopefully I can teach my boys to do the same.