Wednesday, August 24, 2011


 I still get asked on a daily basis if Landon and Harper are twins, yet it never fails surprises me.
I mean, really?

Landon's head is like 5x the size of Harper's.


At Trader Joe's on Monday,
a finely dressed elderly woman was gushing at my perfectly handsome,
yet monsterly-behaved boys.
She was waiting in line and had to be summoned by the cashier because she was so captivated by my dashing young lads, as they rammed toddler sized shopping carts into each other.

The twenty-something cashier-dude did his best to politely get her attention.

Cashier- Ma'am, are you ready? Ma'am, I can take you over here. Ma'aaaam, over here, please.
Old Lady- I'm sorry, I'm just having such a good time watching these twins! They are just so cute, but I don't know how their momma does it with twins! That's two for the price of one, right there.
Cashier- My mom would have sold me two for the price of one.
Old Lady- But you weren't a twin, were you?

I didn't have the heart to correct her. 
Besides, I kind of like people thinking I'm a super mom. 

Friday, August 19, 2011

daaaaaate night

[this lighting makes me look so creepy... I'm not that creepy, 'kay]
We went to Red Robin and I was ready to go over my 1500 calories per day diet.
Then I got scared and ordered a grilled chicken wrap.
Worst decision ever.
It was nast.
Next time, I'm definitely getting a juicy burger, then
 something hot and sugary with ice cream all over it.
I won't even feel guilty.
It's okay though, I got something hot a little later.
Who could resist those sweet lips in a dark, empty minivan?

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Music in the Park

Every Summer Wednesday, we go to Music in the Park.
Last week was packed.
When the ABBA tribute band, Waterloo plays, it's always packed.
They were incredible and the crowd was the liveliest I've seen.
Even balloon artist, Brandon Stewart of Classic Clowning showed up.
He can be reached at 209.518.0919
Landon and Harper were fascinated.
To be honest, so was I.
This guy can make anything.
Seriously, anything.
I wanna hire him for Landon's birthday party in April, 
which he's already requested be Cars themed. 
Harper loved his car balloon, too. 
Now this next picture, I will cherish forever.
Grandpa used to put me on his lap (and every other grandbaby)
and sing "Ridin' ole billy goat, goin' to town..."
It was my faaaaaaavorite.
Harper and Landon love it, too.
And isn't my grandma so cute in her sun hat?
Harper found one of her diet cokes and stayed up until about midnight. 
That was fun.
What do you like to do with your family during the Summer?

Saturday, August 13, 2011

two toddlers and a 911 call

Saturday, early afternoon: Start bath water. Put Harper in tub. Go grab towel in hall right next to bathroom. Landon shuts bathroom door. Landon locks bathroom door. I nicely tell Landon to "turn the nose on the door". He laughs, thinking how fun this is, and refuses to unlock the door. After a minute of kindly coaxing, I start to panic. I pound on the door and yell for him to unlock it. Anthony runs over with his tool box and unscrews the knob. Still, the door won't open. Harper and Landon are crying hysterically while the water rises higher and higher. I yell for Harper to get out of the tub. Landon cries for Harper to get out of the tub. Harper stays in tub, terrified, as water is almost to the top. Anthony is frantically trying to get the door open.

I call 911 while running across the apartment complex to see if maintenance can get the door open before the fire department. Maintenance is unreachable. I hear sirens and pray they'll get through the gate quickly enough. I run back upstairs to our apartment and burst through the front door still on the phone with the dispatcher, apartment management trailing behind me. I turn the hall corner, Anthony is holding Harper tightly in the hallway amid shards of shattered door wood and scattered tools. Landon and Harper are both crying. I am too, but these are tears of pure relief.
Now we're off to go do something fun with our precious babes and forget about what happened. But not before we head to Home Depot and get a lockless doorknob.