Girls Camp and Thoughts on Babies

When we moved back into the El Dorado Ward, I'll have to admit, I was sad. Not because I didn't like El Dorado, but because I loved Brookside Ward and especially my calling in YW. Apparently, Heavenly Father knows that though because I got the exact same calling when we moved into the El Dorado Ward that I had in Brookside! I could not be happier and am loving all of these girls and the women I serve with so much! 

Archery was definitely a highlight for me and even more than that, being there to hear the girls' bare testimony of gospel truths they have learned along the way. I am always impressed at the wisdom in these young girls. I think I get so much more from them than they get from me. Again, I am soooo grateful to be working with the Young Women.

I was barely gone more than 30 hours, but oh, how I missed my boys. Landon greeted me with an excited hug and kiss when I got home. Harper didn't even get up from his chicken nuggets, so I headed over to the table to give him a kiss. He said, "No kiss me! I sitting with Daddy!" I was shocked! I expected him to miss me the most. 

I was wiped out, so last night I put them to bed early. Harper crashed and Landon stayed awake lying next to me for several hours asking question after question, like really deep questions for a four year old. He surprised me with his maturity.  I was thankful for an opportunity to have a long, uninterrupted conversation with him, based mostly upon his thoughts and interests. Normally, I'd shush him by 9:30, but we laid in bed and talked until half past 11. He talked a lot about babies... here's where it started:

It's kind of funny-- a few months ago, we were at the veggie park for a play date, and Landon told my friends, "My mommy gonna have a baby, and it's a girl!" 

My friends looked at me shocked and as they were about to question/congratulate me, I had to correct him. Nooo, I'm not pregnant. Not even close. Maybe a food baby, but that's about it. Of course, Luisa wasn't going to miss an opportunity to have fun with this though. She asked Landon what the baby's name was, patting my belly. He didn't hesitate to respond with, "Rainbow!"

So, that's when it started. The last few weeks, he has mentioned "Rainbow" at least every other day, even praying for her, marching into my room unannounced telling me we need to get baby girl clothes, and asking to get her a bow headband in every color. One night, I told him, "You know Landon, we may not have another baby for a long while, and if we do, we don't get to pick if it's a girl or boy."

He said, "We'll have a boy, too. Two babies". I asked him what we would name the boy (because the name Rainbow just cracked me up). He thought for a minute, very seriously, and said, "Ayson!" He's never even met an Ayson, so, for coming up with it himself, I think it's pretty cool name. 

Tonight, he told me that Rainbow is going to come first, then "it's Ayson's turn to get in your belly". He also told me that he wasn't going to be big like daddy, but that he would be a little bit taller than Rainbow. He said, "I'll be a little taller than Rainbow, Harper will be tall, and Ayson will be short".

I don't expect anyone to be reading this far along into the post, but I wanted to write this down just in case, our future ends up looking like this.

Anthony and I weren't planning on having another child for a few years. We always talked about having 3-4, but there was no rush. Some of our friends had 2 close in age, then waited 6 years to get pregnant with their third. We thought that was a pretty good idea. Then we thought of adoption. We signed on with an adoption agency in our county, were assigned a worker who we met with, and started the mounds of paper work, knowing it would probably be a few years before we were to adopt. About a week ago, our worker called me and asked how the paper work was coming along. I told her we were working on it, slowly but surely, and that we were also interested in becoming foster parents, so that if we needed to adopt a child through foster care, there would be less transitions for him/her. Even though this agency works hand in hand with foster care, I think she took it the wrong way, and sent me a letter saying that our case had been dropped, per our request, but to contact her if we change our mind. Major miscommunication. But lately, I have felt like maybe we should just have our next child naturally. As much as I wanted to and planned to adopt, that may not be the right plan for our family right now. 

So, what to do? I've been praying, a LOT. I've fasted. I'm still not sure what the next step is, but cannot stop thinking about having another baby. Some call it baby hungry or baby fever. I don't know if that's it or if it's a spiritual prompting to have another child. What do you think? Have you been "baby hungry" before? Does it just go away? Or do those feelings get stronger and stronger until you have a baby? I've told myself, we can't even try for another until I'm 100% okay with having three boys, because that's a huge possibility. I'm hoping Landon's right about a girl-- but I don't think we'll be naming her Rainbow.

Oh, yeah and Landon learned to write his name today. :)