Stretch Marks

I sat on the couch, scratching my belly, and noticed a little red mark. I shrieked, ran to the bedroom, and lifted my shirt in front of the full length mirror. In horror, I cried, "Ahhhhh....!!!! I have stretch marks!"

Then Bubba came running in after me, lifted his shirt up and stood in front of the mirror to stare at his belly.

I couldn't help but laugh. Immediately my perspective changed. I thought, I am getting another Bubba! How can I complain about stretch marks? These things are a badge of honor for carrying a child within my body and bringing life into the world. I should be proud of these "mommy badges". Now, now don't you worry, I won't be wearing bikinis and belly shirts any time soon (or ever for that matter) but I'm starting to finally become happy with my body. I've come to realize that it's not so much what my body looks like as it is what my body can do.

I'm happy baby has stayed in for this long. Thanks for all your prayers! In just 2 weeks, the doctor says we're pretty much in the safe zone, meaning I can resume all activity, including you-know-what. Although it's been kind of fun to just make out for the last month. It's kind of like we're dating again, and now we're just looking forward to the honeymoon. ;)

photos by Monica Jane

Letters For Landon

My Dearest Landon,

Can I just say how fun you were today? You woke up early {too early} and sat next to the bed where I still lay. You grabbed your own sippy cup and "Come Unto Christ". You drank from your cup and flipped through the pages. You've been seeing Mama read a lot more lately and have taken an even greater interest in books. You already seem to have a gentle respect for them. Thank you!

We went on a walk today with Nikki and your best bud, Piper the Italian Greyhound. Even though I'm supposed to be on bed rest, I know how hard it is to keep you cooped up inside. As I pushed the stroller, you were so excited and pointed to every tree saying, "Tee!" in your cute little raspy voice. You also held Piper's leash for awhile and loved that, but I'm afraid you almost choked her once or twice.

You saw your first real live snake today, too! A lady had one around her neck at Lincoln Center. She said you could come see. I brought you close and I'm not sure what you thought. You got real serious and just stared at it.

Last night Piper came over and you two ran around and around and around. You were both so excited to see each other. I haven't heard you laugh so hard and so long ever! You just love Piper, and I hope to get you a dog one day soon. But first we'll have to get used to your little brother.

He will be here so soon! I'm excited to see you with him. I know you'll be such a great big brother because you are so sweet and loving to everyone. He will be blessed to have you and I know you'll love each other and have so much fun together {'cause I'm gonna make you}.

I love you!

Mama

Mom's Getting Her Book Published!

An average book buyer gives a cover three seconds before moving on. My mom was recently offered a contract with a big publishing company out of Oklahoma City, and is officially an author now. The company's graphic designer has come up with these cover designs and my mom has to pick one to represent the book by Friday. I'm really undecided, especially with the first two. Love them! I would love the third, but I think the lipstick writing looks kind of tacky. So, be honest and tell me what your oppinion is.

{My mom}

Child of Mine

Soon Bubba and I will have another playmate {but hopefully not TOO soon}. It's starting to feel REAL to me and I'm getting more and more excited. It's going to be a big change. For the last year and half, it's just been me and Bubba--all day, everyday. I love it. Even though it's hard being a mom to a toddler; it's active, it's messy, it's crazy.

Our time is spent playing together, reading together, laughing, singing...going on walks, playing catch, and ofcourse watching Elmo. I'm so grateful for my time with him. We have a really close relationship and I hope that it just gets better with the new addition.

Bubba already loves babies. The other day we were at a shower and he sat at the base of this 7 week old's carseat. The baby was sleeping and Bub just sat there staring at him. He then started to touch his cheek, his nose, and I got nervous so I said, "Don't touch the baby's face, but you can touch his feet." So I pulled back the blanket, then Bubba leaned over and placed a big, smacking kiss on the bottom of his tiny little foot.

I can't wait to see him with his little brother. But I'm nervous about being in the hospital away from Bubba. Hopefully, everything will go well and the baby and I can come home right away. With the baby being so high at risk for premature delivery, I'm nervous about time I may have to spend in the NICU, so we're just praying for a healthy boy, and I'm hoping we can bring him home as soon as possible.

Here's a video of Bubba...being Bubba. Here's another video that really inspired me today.

Irritable Uterus

You wouldn't know from this peaceful picture taken yesterday by MonicaJane that I have an "irritable uterus". That is seriously the name of my condition. So funny, but not really because since about 26 weeks my uterus has not stopped contracting. It's all day everyday pretty much no matter what I do which is a problem because contractions cause cervical changes and cervical changes cause the appearance of BABIES.

I'm only about 32 weeks, so I don't want to see a baby right now. I've been feeling a lot more pressure down there so I decided to go in and get checked. Turns out I'm 90% effaced, and about a 1/2 cm dilated, and his head is "right there". They did a test last night to detect fetal fibronectin which is the "glue" that holds the placenta together and if it's found in your nether regions, labor is very possibly imminent. If negative you have less than a 5% chance of delivering in the next 2 weeks. Unfortunately, I tested positive, so it's likely that he could come within 2 weeks, but I'm hoping not. I want him to get all nice and fat and cute and develop those little lungs so I don't have to see another baby in the NICU with an IV and tubes. It's the hardest thing ever.

So, as much as it pains me I have to learn to "take it easy" even when my toddler does stuff like this:

Apartment Living

kitchen.


picture wall.

living.

Bub's room.

more to come later. <3