Monday, March 14, 2011

Keepin' it Real-- Anxiety

*don't let their sweet looks fool you, these guys mean trouble ;]
I like to keep it real-- life can't be sunshine and rainbows all the time. I love being a wife and mommy more than anything, but with two very active little boys and a husband who has a very demanding schedule, a lot of times, I feel like a single parent and get overwhelmed.

I've always been able to handle a lot of stress without any problems, but lately I've had such bad anxiety. Just a knot in my stomach and that feeling of nervousness. I have standards for the order of my home that sometimes seem impossible to attain. My children throw tantrums and some days just do not listen (I just pulled Landon off the counter as he was throwing teddy grahams all over the floor... oh, here he goes again).

Anyway, it can be a real challenge doing it by myself 24/7. 

I've had a crazy busy schedule lately, teaching young women, doing photo shoots, editing photos, and just trying to keep our family afloat. It seems like I just go, go, go hardly stopping to eat or sleep. And as if sleep isn't hard enough to come by, I've been getting these horrible itchy hives at night for the last 2 days. With the bedbug epidemic I freaked out. I ripped off the sheets, checked the cracks and crevices of the mattress, and saw nothing. Harper still sleeps with us, and he and Anthony haven't had hives at all. 

After being kept awake for 22 hours straight, I did a little research (thank you, Google), and found out that anxiety and the epidermis are directly related. 

"Anxiety releases a myriad of chemical reactions in the body, including adrenaline and cortisol, which can cause eruptions on the skin's surface."

"Hives are typically caused by an allergic reaction to a substance, but also can be the result of high stress."

And the reason I'm getting these hives at night is because the body produces a natural antihistamine (anti itch) during the day, but at night it shuts off.

I'm so relieved just to find answers. 

Anthony has been super helpful today. He's off work this week (tender mercy), and let me go back to bed for a few hours this morning. When I woke up he was making lunch, and then went to get me benedryl, clariton, and benedryl lotion. They have helped so, so much! And my aunt gave me an herb called Valerian Root that helps you relax. And I needed to calm the heck the down, so I'm feeling much better. :)

So, friends (especially all you mommas out there)-- during stressful times, do you ever get anxiety, and how do you deal with it?


Momma's Hart said...

Anxiety is a real part of motherhood. Having little to no sleep only makes it worse. Asking for help during those days is the best thing! Nothing feels better then to have Daddy step in, even if its only for a short moment. Yesterday I got so furious, because Lydia kicked TJ in the face with a boot on. She had never done anything like that before. I was so mad it had me shaking. After I got the kids to stop crying I had to call my grandmother just to calm myself down.

Its the messiness and whining or crying that gives me the hardest time. But that comes with the territory. So we live and learn and clean somemore. Even thought that's a really hard part about being a mommy. I think we both know that a smile or cute gesture makes our hearts melt, and that joy alone makes up for the rest of it.

I have gotten hives too. Using a dandruff shampoo on skin during a *nice long!* shower helps as well. LOL!

Casey said...

I lost my mom 4 years ago to a tragic murder and ever since I tend to have really bad anxiey attacks that come from stress and they come out of no where like a ton of bricks hitting you on top of the head.
I also use valerian root to help me relax because I have such a hard time making my brain stop.
I often time take a long hot bath and use candles only and turn all the bright lights out. This tends to force me to relax and calm down.
Hope this helps!

simplybecky said...

Kali, I'm so glad you found out what was happening. I've had that exact same thing happen to me (the terrible itching, minus the hives) and it took my doctor what seemed like forever to find out what was wrong. Stress of any kind (seeing as how I'm not a mom yet) can cause that, but I imagine your mom stress probably makes it worse. My doctor prescribed an anxiety med that I would take at night if I really needed it, but it made me loopy during the next day, so I avoided it unless I REALLY needed it.

I hope your treatments work out for you. You'll have to keep me posted :)

Cruz Crew said...

Aww, Kali! I seriously know how you feel. Dave is gone in the morning and doesn't come home until after the kids go to bed. Then, when he gets home, he still has to wright reports until the wee hours of the morning. So, BELIEVE ME, I know! But you know, there are things to get upset about, and there are things you should let go. Also, a support system helps! I have one of my friends come over to hang out with me while I'm picking up and dealing with my kids (and her with hers)and it really helps. I wish I could be there to help. I would totally take your little angels for a little while so you could catch a break. You should get a phone tree together and call people that are known to make you feel better about those sticky situations. Really, it helps. I love you Kali! It gets better, I promise.

Dione said...

Awww...yes I know about the two kids 18 months apart, and Tay is working 80 hours a week so I dont see him either! When I first had Dane I was working part time and just got called to be in the primary presidency and I really did feel frantic and upset alot! But I think you sometimes have to hold yourself to a mom with two babies standard, and if you need to leave the dishes, or skip a young womens activity once in a while, or let the kids watch sesame street dvds..its o.k., and almost everyone understands (at least those with kids) The mama has to watch out for her own sanity and health :) Love you! Take a break, doctors orders.

Dione said...

Side note: my first semmester in college my hair started FALLING out and I started getting wierd hives also because I was sooo stressed! Haha, stress can do crazy things to your body!

Kira said...

Kali, having been a TRUE single mom, I know what it is like. I raised Jackson by myself for 3 years... with the help of my parents and siblings when they were around. But 3 years! I tell you, that was during the terrible 2s (which started at 1 1/2 and carried on until 3) and I felt like I was going out of my mind. I was working 40+ hours a week with a 45 minute commute to work. Jackson was in daycare during the day where I was told he was an absolute doll but once I picked him up and took him home he was a complete hellion! There were days where I swear I wanted to throttle him! After being stuck at work for 10-12 hours, being stressed out by my boss/coworkers/patients, having to deal with traffic, bills, a completely crazy ex-husband... I just could not deal with my own child. I needed medication to sleep at night, which still didn't work sometimes with my overstressed system. I would break down and cry thinking I was going crazy.

I thought no one would understand. Funny thing is, there are TONS of mothers in this world... not just me. And at some time or another, they fell pretty crazy, too. You need a break. Your family and friends know you love them and will absolutely understand you taking a "Kali Day". Leave the kids with the husband or a babysitter and go get pampered or stay home and relax with a book/bubble bath or to just take a nap.

Things will work out. Heavenly Father knows exactly what you are going through. You are a strong and wonderful woman. The Lord does not accost you with tasks that are impossible.

Hang in there, girly!

Tiffani said...

Sorry to hear you're roughing it but also glad to know that you go crazy too! In blog-land it is sometimes super easy to see everyone else's lives as "greener" than yours but really we are all getting up, taking care of business and putting on a happy face.

I tend to do too much too and I have insane expectations for myself and that in and of itself can give a person anxiety. Slow down, enjoy doing nothing {real hard to do for me}, unplug when you can and don't worry about your house being perfect.

For me, meeting my friends at the park and just getting out of the house seems to help because when I am gone I am free to just be a mom instead of a mom, housekeeper, cook, etc. As for the temper tantrums and messes; that won't go away anytime soon ;(

Cha said...