Maternity Portraits by Amber Harbour

My good friend, Amber Harbour took these for me before I popped. She did such a amazing job, and I am so thankful that we took them. The ones of me and Anthony were taken just four days before Landon entered our lives turning us from a couple to a family. I know I'll treasure these pictures forever.

A Blog Worthy Moment

When I was a little girl I always dreamed of what life would be as a grown-up. More than anything, I wanted to be a Mommy. When I got married and became pregnant, I looked forward to the day when I could hold my precious baby in my arms, hear that first cry, see that first smile. I couldn't wait to make my baby laugh; to play, to dance.

Just a moment ago, I looked at my beautiful boy, and simply gave him a smile. In return I received the biggest, most joyful grin. He kicked his feet and waved his arms, smiled and squeeled with glee. Moments like these capture the essence, the joys of motherhood. I am reminded of the little girl with the wide brown eyes, holding her doll and wishing on a star that it would come to life. Even then, I had such a desire to nurture.

Here I am today, slightly overwhelmed with responsibility, slightly concerned about the future, but so filled with love. We may not be finished with school, or have a lot of money. We live in a tiny, little apartment, but I feel like I am rich. I have what is more precious than gold; they are in the form of a man and a little boy.

So, even in the hustle and bustle of daily life, I am reminded to stop, smile, and appreciate the little things.

Thank you, Friends!

Anthony told Landon yesterday, "Even if Mommy sounds like Daddy she's still you're Mommy See? She still looks like Mommy." Confused? Basically, right now, I sound like a man. My throat hurts, I'm nauseous, have an upset stomach and even worse, Landon does too.

I must say, I have an incredible husband and incredible friends. Luisa read my last post and last night, she and Roberta actually brought us dinner! They brought us a roasted chicken, hawaiian sweet rolls, and orange juice "for vitamin C." Aren't they the greatest? And Sarah, is so sweet! She just brought over chicken soup, crackers, and sprite. And then she bought some pedialite for Landon. And let me tell you, I should be helping these women! Luisa, works all the time in NICU helping little babies thrive, Roberta is pregnant, has a one year old, and teaches children with special needs. Sarah has practically a newborn and her husband just left for Air Force Basic Training! I love you girls! You are amazing. Thanks for thinking of me and my family when you have so much going on in your own lives. I feel so blessed to have you as my friends!

I've been to the doctor's office three times in the last two days. Yesterday was so awful, but today's a lot better. I had a mini-meltdown which turned into a major meltdown. Anthony gave me a hug and said, "You're the strongest woman I know." And then I was fine. Sometimes that's all we need. As much as I complain about Anthony (he can't help being man), he really tries his hardest to make me happy. Being the woman in this situation, that's not always an easy thing to do, but he manages to light up my day even when I don't think that can be done. I'm feeling very fortunate to have such amazing people in my life!

Welcome to the Real Challenges of Motherhood

The last few days Anthony has been sick. I love him with all my soul, but he's a drama queen, so when he's "sick", I sometimes don't take him seriously. So, as he whined on the couch in front of the tv since Wednesday afternoon, I kissed him sporadically, and let him kiss our beloved Bubba. Big Mistake. My "drama queen" actually was sick. How do I know this? Because my Bubba and I are now sick. I have been dreading this moment since the thought occured to me during my pregnancy. I felt so sick and could hardly handle the smallest task. I thought how do moms keep it together when their sick? For so long, I thought of moms as these untouchable super heroes who could do anything. Growing up my mom was pretty much amazing. But here I am, not feeling well myself and I must take care of my baby; not just any baby...my sick baby. I feel so horrible. I was up all night. Landon was up most of the night. He finally took a nap today at 6 PM (and thankfully is napping at this point). So, I probably won't sleep tonight. HELP. Well, I'm gonna snag some sleep and hope he stays asleep for at least a few more hours. Oh, nevermind he's awake. Say a little prayer for the Matthews family. And feel free to bring us dinner, cause I'm not cooking.

9/11 A National Day of Remembrance

I'm the one in the yellow. This is just months before the 9/11 terrorist attacks. We lived really close to NYC at the time. There were a lot of commuters in our town who unfortunately were closely affected by this tragedy. There were two of my classmates who lost a parent in the World Trade Center. The gym teacher at my school lost his new wife. I remember sitting in math class when the principal made an announcement over the intercom to turn on the TVs, and choking up, he managed to say, "God bless Ameria." At 13, I really didn't have the maturity to understand the depth of what was happening nor did I know how much our country would change from that point. I want to express my admiration for the heroes who risked their lives that day; for the volunteers, the policemen, the firefighters. I remember meeting three of those men who left their families to save others not knowing whether they would make it back. They were three of the finest men I think I have ever met, NYC Firefighters. I am so grateful for this country that I live in. I'm grateful for all those serving in Iraq to protect the freedoms we enjoy. I pray for their safety. There were more than 2,700 people killed in New York that day. I pray for their families; that they have peace and comfort. After the September 11th attacks, many people went back to church or sought out religion. I hope in times of hardship and in times of prosperity we can rely on the Lord and express our thanks to Him. God Bless America.

Not Your Typical Mormon Family

My family is unique to say the least. We may look like your typical Mormon family with eight kids, but there's more than enough chaos within the walls of that pretty little house. So, I was a nervous to bring my 3 month old and stay for a few weeks. He's used to a simple, maybe boring Mommy and Daddy. My family members are anything but boring. Let me go down the line and break it down for you.

First there's Mom; when I was kid, she ran five miles in the morning, was the Primary president, then the Relief Society president, then the Officers Wives Club President (very pristigious), involved in the PTA, sewed most of clothes, kept a spotless house, and had a fine dinner on the table. Mom stands out in a crowd. Today, she's the same old funny, fun, woman. She'll talk to anyone about anything. She keeps things lively, to say the least; doesn't mind expressing her oppinions, and she's very oppinionated. She's loud, blunt, and a bit obnoxious, but I know she wouldn't have it any other way.

Dad; the exact opposite of Mom. I could leave it at that, but I'll elaborate. He's a Captain in the Air Force, and his job is as a bioenvironmental engineer. He's an analytical thinker. One of those highly intelligent people--a little "over my head". Master of things like the rubics cube, which I have absolutely no desire to master. He's amazing at math. I can add and subtract. He's very religious. He's very disciplined. Quiet. Thoughtful. He was super strict when I was a kid, but I think he's eased up a little bit in the last few years. Maybe just tired, I don't know. After eight kids, mostly teenage girls, I probably would be, too.

Samantha and Marisa have moved out so, sorry girls, you're left out of this one.

Lauren is your typical 17 year old girl. Boy crazy. She works at Sonic and is in high school. She hates homework and loooves to socialize. This one's the sweetest girl but has attitude when you never expect it. Like I said, typical 17 year old. ((hormones)).

Grant, 16, is quiet and creative. If I could steal some of his talents they would be his ability to write a captivating story, his acting skills, directing skills, sewing skills, technilogical thinking skills...basically, I wanna be Grant.

Clark, 13, has been a performer since he backflipped out of the womb. He is an incredible skateboarder. He was on the front page of the newspaper doing some trick I can't remember the name of. He's blonde, blue-eyed, tan. The girls looove him. He's never kissed a girl (or so he tells me), but he is the sweetest and gives hugs out like candy at a parade.

Karly, 9...I have such a huge place in my heart for this one. I see so much of myself in her. She's a little shy, has a HUGE smile, loves fashion (woo hoo), and is so diligent about her school work, which is not a trait many in my family share. She is the best big sister, and if I could bring her to live with me right now I would.

Allie, 6, is hilarious. Being the youngest, she is obsessed with attention (which could be scary as she gets older) but who needs a TV when you have Allie? She'll sing, dance, and tell jokes, until the sun goes down.

Some of the most fun things we did while I was there were jumping on the trampoline with a hose, making over Lauren's room while she was at Girls Camp, shopping a lot, and making a Montel Williams featuring Sylvia Browne video.

I had a lot of fun visiting my family, but I was happy to go back home and be together again with my new little family. I missed my Anthony, my bed, and my quiet little apartment.

My baby, STOP growing!

Landon is like a new baby everyday. He has new tricks, new accomplishments, and seems to be getting bigger and bigger just in a matter of days. Soon, he'll be carrying me around. We went in for his 4 1/2 month check up, and he already weighed 20 lbs! That's higher than the 95th percentile for weight. He's 25 1/2 inches long which puts him in the 75th percentile for height. The doctor came in with his chart and asked, "What in the world happened in the last two months?" I was like, "What do you mean?" He told me he gained eight pounds in 2 months and asked what I was feeding him. I told him just breastmilk, so he couldn't suggest any dietary changes, but he did say I must be producing cream instead of milk. I just have a big boy on my hands. So, I can give you an idea of how much chub he's accumulated in the last few months, I'm going to put up some pictures to demonstrate. Well, he's healthy, phat, and happy. That's all that matters in book.

Landon's Baby Blessing

On August 3rd Landon was blessed. I was so excited. Anthony was a little nervous because he was performing the blessing, but, ofcourse, he played it cool. I am so grateful we were able to have so many of our family members make it. Landon's nap time is around 11:30, so he's always cranky during Sacrament meeting which starts at 11. I was way nervous because most of the time he's crying and I have to listen to the meeting from the mother's lounge. During his baby blessing he screamed and screamed and screamed. I was like, Ooooh no. Anthony gave a beautiful blessing though and thankfully with the help of a microphone the congregation was able to hear it. He made it short and sweet considering the circumstances, but he hit on the most important aspects.

For the remainder of the day, I thought about my son and the kind of person I hope and pray he grows up to be. I want him to be charitable, slow to anger, to respect his parents, his associates, to respect his wife and treat her as a daughter of God. I want him to serve a mission and to be married in the temple. I want him to take his education seriously, but to have balance in all things. I want him to be a good example to those around him; to be a friend to those in need. I want him to be a follower of Christ. Speaking of Christ, in Relief Society yesterday, we watched a conference of Sheri Dew. She spoke about charity. The way you can tell if a person is truly a follower of Christ is how they treat others. Plead on your knees for charity; to do what the Savior would do. Pray for your character to become like the Savior. Then you will feel as He does and act as He does. It is natural for females to feel charity. Satan tries to take charity away from women by seducing them with addictions, with selfishness, vanity, with the three C's; competing, comparing, and catagorizing. Why do we do this? We are supposed to be different from one another. We all have unique gifts and talents. Satan also tries more subtle tactics. He tries to make us feel like we're not good enough, but we are his greatest nightmare because we have so much power for good.

So, I started out blogging about Landon's blessing and got off on a whole different tangent, but more than anything, I want my son to be a follower of Christ and to treat others with love and charity. As I ponder these things I want him to be, I realize the importance of my role and that is that I need to be these things. I need to make sure that I am charitable and am basing my decisions after what I think the Savior would do. Definitely something to think about.